im the one making myself sad all the time. i jus ate rice. and this is making me sad. sigh. i duno wat else i can do make myself smile more.
everything thats happening to me right now might bring smiles to others but not for me. every single thing which humans find happy will not make me happy. i dont know why. i jus think negatively. how i wish things didnt hafta happen.
im feeling so full. :(
maybe i shld meet pple who dont care. at least i dont hafta care if they care or not. i dont hafta be sad when they dont care sometimes, and be sad when i know one day these pple might stop caring. if u haf nv cared before, i wldnt be sad one day.
makes sense to me totally. but i guess u guys tink im crazy.
hansen msned me abt photos and then he said i sounded sad online. i jus didnt feel like talking much i guess. so i told him i was feeling moody. and he immediately called me.
v swt person. we dont really click but that day, justin was joking that it was my bday and he went to buy a box of merci for me! i was really really surprised. and it made me laugh so hard. haha.
all i need is a little sth from u. and yet, i cldnt even haf that little sth.
and all i need right now is... i dont know...
smiling seems so tough for me.
was munching on honeystars and digestives and oily oily fat meat the whole aftnn but they dont seem to make me happy. for one period of time, food really cld make me smile with glee. but not anymore... why... sigh.