oh, love's gonna get you down.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

been really busy the past two wks. been eating really a lot cus everyday, there seems to be sth to celebrate abt or to be stressed abt.

truth to tell, the only happy time was the night when all my perfect friends came. from then, i was unhappy and tired everyday.

of cus in btwn there were meetups with friends but work really is... sigh...

and furthermore, i need to ot but i dont feel like. partly is due to the ghost thingie and also cus nobody in the team is moralised enough to stay even a bit longer than usual. including myself. sigh.

it is really contradicting. i wan time to go faster cus i cant wait to leave. but then again, time is going too fast and my THREE students do not have enough time to learn from me. every night, i conduct "intensive training" for them, as instructed by my snr exec... but they yawn, and i feel sian too.

during the day, i hafta prepare notes for the night. i hafta book a room for discussion, i hafta take note what they each have learnt, what they have "hands-on", what they do not know...

during the day, i serve customers, i teach them in btwn, i feel busy, i feel alone, i feel hungry, i get scolded when they do wrong things cus i am the teacher.

during the evening, i have meetings, i conduct trainings, i feel hungry, i keep eating...

during the night, i feel tired and hungry and i eat again and i slp when i can. i try to slp when i cant.

and who understands that im v tired and i dont like to count money? but this is work. i cant choose wateva i wish to do or like to. so i have to count. and when cisco calls in to check, i get scolded. my student also gets scolded. why? bcus of me. why? bcus im the teacher and bcus im the "counter".

sometimes, i feel im always giving in to everyone (except my family). but who gives in to me? as in, even at work, we give in to some colleagues to prevent clashes. but can i expect or ask pple to give in to me?

they can throw temper, be angry, be pissed... can i? can i show a black black face like some pple so that nobody dares to ask me qns and ask someone else? why mus i be the one who isnt angry or in a bad mood and let everyone ask me qns like im a genius?

the reason for all of the abv: bcus they think im good. thats why im the teacher. thats why they ask me qns.

i am not good or clever or smart or know-it-all k. im a human. not God.

i cant wait to be a student again.

fieko fieko fieko... so sad... :(

and yah. the habourfront centre salesmen really suck. thanks fieko and siti for being with me though u two totally suck la. we lost the battle! haha.

btw, u guys shld check this out.

mon - cabbed to work
tue - cabbed to work. cabbed to habourfront from woodlands. cabbed to cck from habourfront.
wed - didnt cab to work (yay!) but cabbed to causeway pt for lunch and cabbed back!
thur - cabbed to work
fri - cabbed to work
:((

one photo first - dinnered at raku with my cousins. they were v swt to me. haha thanks. and the food were nice too!

argh. im actually gg out now to get the cam. i know i shldnt be buying sth which my whole fam thinks i do not need. but i was really upset over the stupid colleague who bought the stupid camera. and now, im being stopped.

mum: why are u buying another one since u alrd have one?
me: -silence-

i know i shld be appreciating the presents but... im sorry. its jus me.

cant i jus do sth to make myself a little bit more pleased than usual? yah ur right. the ans is no. cus im gona spend 600bucks!

ive been working for so damn hard. if nobody wans to reward me, cant i reward myself? so what if i have two cameras now? i dont care, really. well i know we are not rich but then, argh. damn it. ok i shld save cus everyone says im a spendthrift. i do appreciate my parents and friends and those who really care for me a lot. but sometimes, i dont know la.

whatever it is. i want to get a camera.

which most probably, i will regret ltr. i dont know.

at 4:23 PM

Sunday, June 24, 2007

guess what ladies?
I AM DOWNLOADING THE CAO MENG SONG NOW! hahaha. i will send to ur gmail when its done alright neozers. :) and wenners and charrers.

oops. dl failure. sigh.

photos of buffet on thur. i guess im not a v photo person. i didnt even take any pics with anyone la! i shld have taken one with EVERYONE who came lor. damnit. and i didnt even take any with the lovely elsie's kitchen food. :(

im so pretty right? hahaha. sigh.

at 3:54 PM

i jus bathed! i hope the tidbits in my stomach get digested soon and fast. :( my tummy is bulging. btw. i realised im not that fat. jus my legs. so i shld try to start swimming. hmm...

anw, in case u do not know... i love the Perfects. and i love S.H.E. hahah i know its kinda OPP but yah. i will repeat this once in a while and do not tell me ur sick of me declaring my love for them jus cus ur not being loved too! haha.

i guess surprising me and making me happy seem really tough but u guys did it! haha. yay! thanks for all the presents, thoughts and effort. im sorry to make u all come to ulu yishun and get stranded near a "big field". sorry neo. my dad said u can call him if u get lost again. i swear. cus i told him wat happened and he offered to be ur walking talking street directory. hahah so nice of him lor.

though gw said more pple had wanted to come but due to NS, they cldnt make it. but im not unhappy la. i was really tired. and i was busy smsing my Perfects so i didnt talk much during dinner jus now. im fine ok gw. if ur unhappy, then get teckguan to pass messages to me. haha.

they were telling me philip was angry with gw for not playing monopoly with him. so philip started to ignore gw and teckguan had to be the messenger when philip had sth to say to gw. so cute right. i love my bro. thanks for wishing me happy birthday. :) that was good enough to brighten that one hr. im v demanding right. jus one hr. haha.

im feeling qt slpy. i shall post some pics from thur's kbox buffet and then get some slp.

teckguan was saying that the Perfects all look v bubbly and young. im the only one who looks totally aunty. thanks teck. i guess u girls shld promote me to the PerfectMum. :(

gd night lovely friends. pat is gona slp now and bring u more photos of myself. hahah. no la. of everyone who loves me. including u.

i tink im gg crazy. gd night!

oh. can i repeat "that" again?

i love the Perfects and i love S.H.E. hahaha.

at 4:54 AM

Saturday, June 23, 2007

jus before i head to the bathroom, i would like to say a BIG thank you to all my Perfect friends and my Poly friends. you guys really did surprise me la. stop forcing me to say otherwise ok. :(

im really happy. really. and im so glad i didnt read imperfect Kangs' email jus now. i was actually checking my inbox before the Perfects came knocking on the door.

her email is abt a "surprise party" and she hopes i "enjoyed it". it was sent at 9pm lor!!! haha i was still not home then.

this mus be fate. yay so happy. i finally got my surprises!! :)

if i can get to change my camera on mon, i wld be the happiest person alive!

feel like puking now though. too much of cake.

shit its late. i need to bathe now!

at 3:25 AM

Monday, June 18, 2007

i jus ate mutton curry with bread. and peanuts. :(

and i miss my friends. little miss perfects...

at 12:28 AM

Sunday, June 17, 2007

fri - slept for abt 4hrs and rushed down to sim. stupid taxis. stupid cck. was really angry. supposed to reach sch at 9 and when it was 8.50am, i got down at cck. thought of cabbing to sim ma. faster.
however, aft 25mins or so, no cab was in sight la. so i ended up walking 1km back to the mrt and took train to clementi. (!!!) i shldnt have alighted at cck lor. it was only 4 stops away from clementi. hai. nvm. was 45mins late for the briefing. the person also reminded me that im supposed to bring my ic arnd in sch. but i haven made my ic yet lor. shit.

the night before, there were 2 road blocks. and the stupid policeman asked gw to park one side and we had to show our ic. obviously, i do not have one. urgh. u see, i mus quickly go and make la. maybe next thur or fri ba... sigh.

anw. aft the briefing, i told von i wont be doing part-time work. there are so much materials to read when sch starts. i doubt i can finish. i wana get good results leh. not first class la. but i dont wan a pass!

while von's bf was on his way back from thai in a helicopter, we spent the entire aftnn at jurong pt, eating jap bento, talking abt holy and horror stuff while enjoying our andersens ice cream, shopping, looking at cameras... walking... haha.

btw. i jus made spaghetti! and i finished the original pringles all by myself! sounds like an achievement right. bt im pretty sad.

at 5:50 PM

hahaha i jus saw this in keegan's blog. did he draw this himself??? omg. hahaha. really weird la.

was supposed to be watching golden melody awards but im qt lazy. and im v upset too. i had wanted to eat lesser today cus the past few days, i really overate. but when i went out with mum and bro to get my pendant jus now, i ate claypot chicken rice for dinner!! sigh.

am thinking of getting a necklace from there. if anyone has not thought of wat to get for me, give me the money! i will go get the necklace from citigems. hahaha. thanks.

citigems' stuff are really much nicer than sk la. i wana get a ring too. but a ring is super exp. :(

at 12:14 AM

Saturday, June 16, 2007

i feel kinda lost again. wat am i still thking of? sigh.

这次你真的要离开了你决定这样放手
放在心里的一些回忆
你说你不再提起
我们的爱无法继续
有人慢慢的将我代替
代替我给你幸福快乐
我舍不得又能如何
我们的爱走到谷底
没关系我会好好的
我会彻底的选择逃避
忘记你谈何容易
我和你还是站在原地
我听见哭泣的你
我已经尽了最大努力
这次你真的离开了

i lost a kg and i gained 2kg! i dont know why. shit la. really overate lor.

wed - prawn crackers and tuna melt in the morning. ba zhang in the aftnn. night was with xuan at sakae. 4 plates each. she stopped me a few times from taking the fried salmon. but... yea ur right. i took it. and ate it. ate them i mean. many many pcs. shld i go veg?
and it isnt all. prawn crackers for supper. applause for pat pls. yea thanks.

thur - beehoon with curry and long beans. cheng teng. these were for lunch with siti the flirt.
dinner was prawn crackers and a strawberry roll from polar tgt with neo, the self-proclaimed trendstarter for black stockings.

supper was a killer. bah kut teh. pigs trotters. salted veg. pigs livers. rice! from balestier.

on our way back to the car, i felt someone/something's presence on my left so i turned to look. i regretted. cus i jumped and let out a scream. a rude scream. the someone was an indian man sitting on the ground or sth. i felt so extremely bad and i walked at a speed of 1m/sec to the car and locked myself in there. i kept scolding gw for not telling me. and know wat?

pat: why didnt u tell me someone was there?? i feel so bad now lor. argh. i feel so bad and paiseh la. -thinking that he mus have been really sad/hurt/angry/offended-
gw: i did tell u lor.
pat: huh u told me?? where got? i didnt even hear it.
gw: i said v softly, you ren zai na li (someone is there) ma... didnt wan him to hear.
pat: er. gw. he doesnt understand mandarin wat!
gw: ...

hahaha nonsense right!
u know wat he told me when i refused to go for supper? cus i told him i just lost a kg. i dont wana be fat. he said, "aiya come la. lose one gain one. ok ma. at least u maintain ur weight."
haha gw is really my best friend la.

anw i shld stop bitching abt him. ltr he angry with me... ahaha. aft kun finished his ciggs, we went mustafa. spent almost 2hrs there i tink. showed them the cams that i deciding btwn. im v excited. pls pool in for my cam ok. i'll be really happy. though i still wan a bag and a jacket. i wan at least 2 bags and 2 jackets. haha. :p

i went harvey jus now. and the man confirmed my doubts towards neo's analysis. well, swimmer neo claimed that canon is really good and is much better than panasonic and sony. she also said she did a lot of research online and was like showing off her new canon cam. yea like wateva huh. but er. shes right la. the man said canon really takes better pix. unless i go for appearance. then i shld get sony. hmm... cant decide. wait till i get my bonus first.

which reminds me... stupid laosai girl said she heard we got no bonus this yr. my heart stopped for 2 secs and an immediate tender of my resignation was in my mind at the 3rd sec. so lisa went to chk with HR and HR said we will have. yippee.

im rather broke cus today i went sim and they informed us that we gotta pay more sch fees next wk. abt 1500? sigh. and the content of my course seems really heavy and yah heavy. i guess i wont be doing part time sales or anything cus i wana try and do well. hey its 28k leh. i dont wana waste money la.

anws. at mustafa, i bought qt a bit of crap. crap = tidbits. wanted to go rochor bt it was alrd closed so we went mac. the two fat guys shared 20pc nuggets. -to be cont...-

im slpy. blog tmr. bye.

at 12:59 AM

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

took half day today cus head was still hurting like HELL this morning. ytd was a bad bad day at work. i was pretty upset. hmm... not very, jus a bit.

was thinking, at work, u cant decide wat u wan to do. others decide for u. u cant say, oh i dont feel well. or, er. can i do sth else instead? no u cant. but its diff in sch. as in i agree in sch, many times our teachers give us stuff that we wish we would not have to do. but at least, sometimes, when u feel like skipping a lesson, u can. or when u wana submit the assignment one day late, u can. u can have many small breaks in btwn. u can go to the toilet and gossip with ur friends. u can go out tgt aft sch. u wont feel so tired. u can have discussions during lesson time. btw, if u know me well, i love discussions and projects!

well... nth. i really really wish i can quit soon.

oh yah. on a very sad note, u guys know i did ot qt a lot last wk. and... my manager did not approve before the cut-off time which was 12pm on mon. so. im not getting my bloody ot pay for 6hrs! im gona quit soon and i wan to save! sigh. super shitty right.

this morning, i took urgent halfday partly also cus i took cab ytd night and i do not wan to take cab again this morning. i do not wan to see my panel doc cus hes a stupid quack so im not getting any mc. the last time i went, he said i had no fever and when i got home, it was 38.9 or sth. i also do not wan to see another doc cus i dont wan to pay.

had headache, or maybe migraine, THE WHOLE DAY ytd. i cldnt take it so i took cab home at 7. i wanted to leave at 6 but i was waiting for zarina to count her money so that i could balance the cash. sigh. when i reached home, i changed and "plop!", into my bed. until this morning 5plus.

when i woke up, the headache still persisted so i took a panadol for flu (the normal one ran out) and went to bed again. but i cldnt slp so i made tuna again. :( but now im fine le. hafta go work soon. :((

nvm. on a happier note. its blogging time!

went searching for wy's present in town on sat with kent. we met at almost 3 and we had to reach boon lay for xk's POP at 5! which means, we only had less than 2 hrs!

yummy food and pretty clothes were tempting me everywhere we went. but we cldnt stop. it was tough for me. i cldnt buy. i cldnt eat. i cldnt rest. it was like amazing race.

kent is really picky. i used 110% of my brain juices la.

levis jeans out. (kent claims that wy got a pair of levis from tw thats almost 2oobucks. wy said he didnt. haha nonsense.)

wallet out. (kent thinks that nth suits wy and wy might have gotten a wallet from tw. poor wy. hes still using his super lansai wallet now.)

perfume out. (kent thinks that its a v personal thing and we will nv know what fragrance a person likes.)

technology gadgets out. (kent thinks that wy is a flintstone-man and he doesnt use much of these stuff.)

for the following ideas, he either rolled his eyes or not ans me. (!!!)
tshirts out.
shoes out.
socks out.
bball out.
soccer ball out.
jersey out.

finally... i said jacket. (i did mention jacket a few times but he said spore is too hot. which is true.) and he said ok lor jacket. cus we ran out of time alrd. by then it was 4. rushed from fareast back to taka and waited for his friends to arrive before leaving for boonlay.

i know kent has a poor sense of direction so i kept asking him if he knew how to get there. he said "try lor. shld be able to la. but... i dont know if cte has exit to pie."

so, helpful (worried) me said, "why not i call my dad to confirm?"

kent: "no need la. i think sure have one la." -clicking on his GPS thingie-

me still felt v insecure cus i really didnt wana be late. "er. why not u call gw? he sure knows wat."

kent: "nvm la..." -still clicking on his GPS thingie-

looking at the situation, i secretly called my dad in the toilet. ahaha. luckily i called lor. cus there was no exit. we mus get to aye first then pie or sth la. i forgot alrd. anw. i dont rem how kent got to boon lay (cus i was aslp) but we got there in time! 5.30 i think. so clever.

was so hot and sticky during the parade. there was no fan. and every 15mins, i complaint to kent abt hunger. and every min, we bitched abt every living thing. hahaha. and every sec, i looked forward to the buffet that only me and kent have tickets to. gw and his sec sch friends were in front of us. his friend calvin lost 50kg i think. he looks skinny. this is kinda out of point but i need to type this to motivate myself to sign on and defend spore from terrorists like... ahemhem. my ex-classmate. hahaha.

waited and waited and waited... finally, at 7.30, it was dinner!!! had bryani and prata with mutton curry. ok fine. more than bryani and prata with mutton curry. i was really hungry ma! really yummy and happy. :) hahaha. though the food looked kinda... sucky. but who cares!

drove to yishun to fetch xuan and went tpy to meet ailing and teck. kent made poor teck search the WHOLE of tpy to find party poppers. he was huffing and puffing. but i agree hes the best person cus he got GOLD in track & field events ma. hahaha.

called wy's sis beforehand to make sure hes the one who who wld open the door.

preparation for the surprise!

in the lift.

wy stays at level 22 but he stays v near the lift so we went...

shagged teck. hahahaha!

lighting the candles.

knocking on the door. we knocked like 4-5times cus no one was opening! my heart was beating damn fast. god knows why. so strange. hahaha. i guess i was afraid the plan might fail cus maybe he alrd found out or no one was at home!