been really busy the past two wks. been eating really a lot cus everyday, there seems to be sth to celebrate abt or to be stressed abt.

truth to tell, the only happy time was the night when all my perfect friends came. from then, i was unhappy and tired everyday.

of cus in btwn there were meetups with friends but work really is... sigh...

and furthermore, i need to ot but i dont feel like. partly is due to the ghost thingie and also cus nobody in the team is moralised enough to stay even a bit longer than usual. including myself. sigh.

it is really contradicting. i wan time to go faster cus i cant wait to leave. but then again, time is going too fast and my THREE students do not have enough time to learn from me. every night, i conduct "intensive training" for them, as instructed by my snr exec... but they yawn, and i feel sian too.

during the day, i hafta prepare notes for the night. i hafta book a room for discussion, i hafta take note what they each have learnt, what they have "hands-on", what they do not know...

during the day, i serve customers, i teach them in btwn, i feel busy, i feel alone, i feel hungry, i get scolded when they do wrong things cus i am the teacher.

during the evening, i have meetings, i conduct trainings, i feel hungry, i keep eating...

during the night, i feel tired and hungry and i eat again and i slp when i can. i try to slp when i cant.

and who understands that im v tired and i dont like to count money? but this is work. i cant choose wateva i wish to do or like to. so i have to count. and when cisco calls in to check, i get scolded. my student also gets scolded. why? bcus of me. why? bcus im the teacher and bcus im the "counter".

sometimes, i feel im always giving in to everyone (except my family). but who gives in to me? as in, even at work, we give in to some colleagues to prevent clashes. but can i expect or ask pple to give in to me?

they can throw temper, be angry, be pissed... can i? can i show a black black face like some pple so that nobody dares to ask me qns and ask someone else? why mus i be the one who isnt angry or in a bad mood and let everyone ask me qns like im a genius?

the reason for all of the abv: bcus they think im good. thats why im the teacher. thats why they ask me qns.

i am not good or clever or smart or know-it-all k. im a human. not God.

i cant wait to be a student again.

fieko fieko fieko... so sad... :(

and yah. the habourfront centre salesmen really suck. thanks fieko and siti for being with me though u two totally suck la. we lost the battle! haha.

btw, u guys shld check this out.

mon - cabbed to work
tue - cabbed to work. cabbed to habourfront from woodlands. cabbed to cck from habourfront.
wed - didnt cab to work (yay!) but cabbed to causeway pt for lunch and cabbed back!
thur - cabbed to work
fri - cabbed to work
:((

one photo first - dinnered at raku with my cousins. they were v swt to me. haha thanks. and the food were nice too!



argh. im actually gg out now to get the cam. i know i shldnt be buying sth which my whole fam thinks i do not need. but i was really upset over the stupid colleague who bought the stupid camera. and now, im being stopped.

mum: why are u buying another one since u alrd have one?
me: -silence-

i know i shld be appreciating the presents but... im sorry. its jus me.

cant i jus do sth to make myself a little bit more pleased than usual? yah ur right. the ans is no. cus im gona spend 600bucks!

ive been working for so damn hard. if nobody wans to reward me, cant i reward myself? so what if i have two cameras now? i dont care, really. well i know we are not rich but then, argh. damn it. ok i shld save cus everyone says im a spendthrift. i do appreciate my parents and friends and those who really care for me a lot. but sometimes, i dont know la.

whatever it is. i want to get a camera.

which most probably, i will regret ltr. i dont know.