im so hungry and i cant slp and omg. the baby is still crying. look at my tagboard. i just ate two prawns. brunch was nasi lemak and teabreak was kfc. dinner was rice dumpling, a few pineapple tarts and a bit of clam chowder at char's. good. its so little compared to ytd (wed). it was duck rice for lunch, sweet potato porridge with braised duck for dinner. in btwn, theres swee's potato chips and cadbury. supper was tauhuay with soonkueh and otah. sigh i shldnt have mentioned all the food. i feel even hungrier.

-

i was saying i always follow my heart. i think i always follow my heart and not my mind? what is following my heart? and mind? aiyo. i dont know. they seem the same. but xh used to say that i always follow my heart and many times, i make unrealistic or irrational decisions. i think she said i was selfish? i forgot.

one common scenario which always happens to me. well, food is my life.

my mind tells me that i wanna eat kenny rogers.
my friend says that he wanna eat charsiew rice and i dont really like eating at foodcourts.
but my heart tells my mind that its ok. its ok... foodcourt is nice also. dont act atas. you can have the chicken soup next time ma. though my mind will say, huh. sian. once in a while get to pass by kenny rogers and i cant even go in? then my heart will say, its just a craving. it'll be over soon.

and the outcome of the battle btwn my mind and my heart will be determined by only one factor. or maybe i think thats the main one.

-who the person is.

if its xuan, i'll let her decide first and if she cant, i'll tell her what i wanna eat. if she shows a reluctant expression, i will suggest a few others. we will discuss la actually.
if its gw, he usually maintains an "anything" attitude and doesnt suggest anything, i'll usually decide. which is really good cus i can eat anything i want. but he does suggest if i ask.
if its char, shes quite anything la so i dont rem any battle btwn mind and heart. omg. so good. cus she gives in to me all the time la.
if its kent, i'll let him decide.
if its my family, they are very open to suggestions cus everyone just wants everyone to be happy. i just realised. i never thought abt it. i mean, my mum is always great cus she really does a lot to please everyone. and at the end of the day, im very sure shes not exactly very happy. patrick also wants everyone to be happy. philip too. except me. im more selfish. i think i exploit pple if i know i can.

i asked gw and wy abt humans being selfish. all humans are. they said no. really? i think i am. but i think they are not la. wy is quite giving. gw too. they are pretty easy-going also. hmm... angels, are they?

so maybe, following my heart is to agree with my friends. following my mind is to be selfish. not exactly selfish. i mean, i guess my friends will consider my suggestions and thoughts. but i dont know why the hell am i always trying to be nice. gw is right. i try to be nice but i complain all the time. what am i doing? and i know my brain is rusty cus i say really stupid things without thinking. one best way = shut up pat. this kinda out of point but yah.

cool (my new fav word). i was never so frank with my feelings in poly times or sec sch times. i dont think i had a mind of my own. but then again, so what if im frank. i know my bad points so i shld change right. but here i am, feeling so proud and annoucing to the whole world.

ok! im gonna do one more qn and see if i can slp. btw. dont worry dear, if you are. cus this entry was blogged due to my inability to slp. im super ok la. cus i know my friends and family wont bear grudges. even if they do, its all in my mind. omg. im being so positive suddenly. it must be the sleepybug.